Missed My Jesus

"Breathe Me in, rest your soul in Me, and find grace-filled love in Me,"  I heard my Jesus speaking softly to me tonight.  It's been a busy week of work, school, cleaning, and  my sweet girl catching her first back to school cold.  In the busyness, I have missed my Jesus, not because I couldn't find the time, but because I chose to let my weariness rule my quiet times.  It was easier to fall onto the couch and zone out to a good show, or to fall asleep before uttering my goodnight prayers and thanksgivings to Jesus.  I felt the weight of this time missed with my Jesus, as I plodded through another day under my own meager steam.  My shoulders tensed and my patience ran thin.  Still I kept going on in this manner, broken down and melancholy.  What a stinky thing I did to myself and those that I came into contact.  I was a tired, grumpy grouch who wanted to be left alone, not one of my finer moments I must say.  As I prepared for bed tonight, Jesus pursued me with His gentle reminder to draw near to Him.  It felt good to center my focus back to Him, a relief actually.  That is how it's suppose to be all the time. I am so thankful my Jesus pursued me and how He pursues me daily. I need my Jesus, plain and simple, Amen to that!

Discipline: Lavish of Love

A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them. (Proverbs 13:24 MSG)

These words ring extremely true now that I am a Mama to a sweet but feisty little girl.  She is bound and determined to do life her way, which is well and fine when she is being well behaved.  However, the days she chooses to do wrong and to disobey, I'm the one frazzled and on my last nerve.  I dish out godly discipline through stern but respectful words anchored in God's truth.  Sometimes, I get through to my girl and the times she's just had it, I let her collect herself in a timeout (sometimes I need the timeout more than she does to collect myself and my wits).  As a Mama, I go through all this with her because I love her so much and want God's very best for her.  Yes, I could choose to appease my girl and let her do whatever she wanted to make her happy.  Let me say clearly and truthfully, appeasement is not real love though it masquerades as such.  It might feel like the loving thing to do to make your child happy.  Truly though, your child is not happy, just miserable because no one would want to be around him or her.  He or she might even begin to dislike who he or she is.  My Mama heart rebels against this lie because I have grounded myself in God's truth, and I have experienced His gentle but firm discipline in my life.  I know the blessing that godly discipline brings, and I utterly want that richness of blessing for my daughter.  I love her so and can't fail her by choosing appeasement. I rest in knowing that I am lavishing God's true love upon her.

The Only One That Matters

25 The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in GOD protects you from that. (Proverbs 29:25 MSG)

Yesterday, I found myself fretting over an honest mistake I had made, and how that would make someone in my life displeased with me.  I was carrying on with a constant barrage of negative thoughts about my character and my abilities.  There I was knee deep in the muck of lies and doubts.  I felt so horrible and anxious, and unable to focus on anything but what I thought the person thought about me.  This fussing went round and round my heart for awhile, until I recognized this situation as a light bulb moment from God.  How silly, wasteful, and selfish I had been for carrying on like I did.  I remembered who I was in Christ, ferociously loved and highly prized.  As such, I didn't have to fret over what I thought someone else thought of me.  Honest mistakes happen, you accept responsibility, and you do your best to make amends to that person.  I did the right thing and that was all that mattered to my Heavenly Father.  When you put it in that perspective, His is the only opinion that will ever matter.  

Anew

"Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands. Wild animals will say ‘Thank you!’ —the coyotes and the buzzards— Because I provided water in the desert, rivers through the sun-baked earth, Drinking water for the people I chose, the people I made especially for myself, a people custom-made to praise me. (Isaiah 43:16-21 MSG)

Words fail me tonight.  God is so amazing and we are blessed beyond words as His beloved.  I can rest with ease tonight, as that promise settles on my heart.  Thank you, God.

Trust, Not So Simple

God—you’re my God! I can’t get enough of you! I’ve worked up such hunger and thirst for God, traveling across dry and weary deserts. (Psalm 63:1 MSG)

I feel the of hunger this psalmist wrote about slowly seeping into my soul. I find, too, that The Father is beckoning me closer to His strong loving arms.  This is so what I need, but I find myself afraid to completely trust my all to Him as of late.  There is a part of me that holds back for fear of total surrender.  We all have had life fall out from under us at one time or another, and some of us a few more times than that.  That in and of itself can stir up a trust issue, and the need to feel in control.  The funny thing is, is that this only creates large amounts of stress and anxiety.  We get in a balancing act of having all our plates spinning, making sure none stop or crash to the floor.  Yuck!  We burn out, suffer exhaustion, and lack any true peace.  Why are we, why am I, so silly?  Why do we, why do I, carry a burden not meant for human shoulders?  Why do we, why do I run from the Father, who is waiting and willing to help? 

 Oh Father, slow us down tonight.  Speak continually and loudly to our troubled hearts.  May we hear You, stop, and collapse in Your waiting arms.  Help us to give back to You what is not ours.  May we continue to leave it in Your capable hands. Thank you for stirring our hearts to seek You and hunger for You.  Soothe our tired souls with Your quiet peace as we drift off to sleep, fully Yours.  Love You Father, Amen.

The Mire of When

"God, how long do I have to cry out for help before You listen?".....
God says, "Look long and hard.  Brace yourself for a shock.  Something is about to take place, and you're going to find it hard to believe."
Habbakuk 1:1-5 MSG

Tonight, I find myself in Habbakuk's shoes asking "God, are you listening to me?"  When I don't hear God speak or see Him move as quick as I want Him to, I can feel so discouraged and disappointed.  My eyes can only see what is NOT happening, and I can find myself in a ridiculous pity party.  I know better, I have seen God work amazingly in my life countless times, but I still doubt foolishly.  I am just like Habbakuk crying out in self-imposed frustration. Our doubts cloud our view of who we know God to be.  He is the One that will answer revealing His beautiful will to us in His perfect timing.  He told Habbakuk, "Hold on, open your eyes wide and clear, peer through them deeply at Me, you will see My great will taking place for your very best."  This is the lens I want to look through when I find myself sinking in the mire of when.

To Love Others

This is how we’ve come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God’s love? It disappears. And you made it disappear. (1 John 3:16-17 MSG)

I find these verses to be clear and straightforward, but difficult to follow through sometimes.  We all want and need help, that is a given.  However, helping and loving others can be something we want to ignore, because it's scary, because it beckons us out of our comfort zones, because it asks to give of ourselves, because it's risky, because it's costs us something.  How blessed we are that these fears didn't stop Jesus from dying to save us.  In that perspective, helping and loving others, doesn't seem so hard.  I pray we all can follow Jesus and love and help so freely.  Just cling to Him, He will lead you with wisdom and grant you peace to take action.  Your efforts done in His example will never be in vain.  He will use them to highly bless others.  Thank you Jesus for holding us up in every circumstance.