I like to think of me steering my life like a ship sailing along in calm waters with the wind filling the sails and nothing but blue skies. It really is an idyllic and comforting thought, flowing along without a care in the world. Ahh!! How safe and simple it truly would be....
Here's the part where life cues the storm clouds, sheets of rain, hurricane winds, and tossing waves....ta-da!! Well, my dumb idea just got lost at sea along with my security, my personal comfort, and my naïveté. Bummer, that didn't last long.
You see, this fake sense of control I like to live in, is just that, fake. It brings me a comfort for a moment then reality crashes down on me. I sink into the mire of an aching soul and deep fatigue. All the plates I had carefully spinning, perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect everything, crash to the floor splitting into a million pieces. I try to clean up my mess, but I have nothing left and collapse in frustration.
God pulls me up and reminds me of His promises.
"Meanwhile the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. "(Romans 8:26-28 MSG)
I remember then that God has His hand on me. His Holy Spirit abides in me and It will do for me what I can't do myself. I then remember all the times God has been faithful to see me through when I thought I couldn't take another thing going the wrong way.
After 3 car accidents, 3 stinky jobs, and 1 difficult post partim after my daughter's birth, I'm still here in one piece thanks to His love and grace. Believe me, I could have done without the hard things! Still, it is during such times that I grow strongest in Him.
So hold tight to His promises and let go of the false control. He will see you through each and every circumstance. You are His precious and beloved child for always.